Of course some of them are close friends, others are just friends, and others still, merely acquaintances. But I know them all the same. Most of the time I keep my friends and acquaintances in niches. They're divided and subdivided. And often when we invite people over to Dar Khalifa I spend a moment calculating that everyone will get on. Rachana says that I have no 'spam filter' on my friends, that I attract weirdos. It's true, well at least in part. I like people who will provide a different slant on life, a curve ball kind of a person, one who'll get you to THINK 360 about something. But at the same time there's something I value very highly, probably higher than anything else. It is the ability to be at ease and comfortable with anyone. I call this Full Spectrum, and I know remarkably few Full Spectrum People. How many friends can you take into the shantytown for lunch, and then straight after to an embassy dinner? And don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that an embassy dinner's somehow better than a bidonville lunch, because it certainly is not, and it explains why we're found in the shantytown far more often than at a swish evening out. But this capacity to mix with anyone and everyone is something I hold very dear, and something I wish more people had...
TS
6 comments:
A fully rounded personality!?:) Be that as it may, your esteemed father might have agreed, especially on a day such as this, that there is, all things considered, such a thing as a choice of choices!?:)
BTW, between a bidonville lunch and an embassy dinner there could be some spare time left for the words of the classical Persian poet Saadi quoted in The Sufis (which I hope I’ll translate sooner or later, starting today): “Fettered feet in the presence of friends is better than living in a garden with strangers.”
And this, I think, is from Ghazzali, his Alchemy of Happiness – a prayer that prophet Mohammed taught to his companions:
'O God, grant me to love Thee, and to love those who love Thee, and whatsoever brings me nearer to Thy love, and make Thy love more precious to me than cold water to the thirsty.
welcome back on the blog!
Hi Tahir, have you come across the work of Gregory Berns on iconoclasts? If not, this may chime with your piece on 'full spectrum people' and also offer a few pointers to your admitted impecuniousness in an earlier post:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Berns_(neuroeconomics)
Thanks to CJM for the heads-up.
Phew! When I have to think(?) about what quality(ies) I may have, I can't really think that I have any worth mentioning or which might be "better" than that of the average Joe. But what you have described as a "full spectrum person" is perhaps the only one I can think of, that I think I have. Something akin to what Kipling said "to walk with Kings and yet not lose the common touch.." (or some such quote). Made me feel better. I didn't think that anyone might value that...Thank you.
You clearly have this Full Spectrum-ness...any advice on how to develop this capacity? I'd like to do some traveling (I read Gondwanaland a little while ago, great book!) and I definitely think the ability to mix well with all kinds of people would be a valuable skill, in traveling and in life.
Glad you're writing the blog again.
It's one thing if you can be comfortable in heterogeneous circumstances, and another if the circumstances can be comfortable with you... Mostly it seems to be a matter of wearing the right clothes, of knowing which subjects to avoid...
Its great to be able to indulge a passion for interesting people and to bring them together in random parties. Many wives would not tolerate all this stuff. You chose well.
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